reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
