Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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