the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
he thought i was a dude.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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