You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I wish I could punch you in the face.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
