Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
