i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
bring money and cleavage
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Randomize
