A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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