The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm just crazy horny about you
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
