I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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