I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
