reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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