Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
