u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
you win again, gameday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize