We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
just found out that she named her cat after me.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
