how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
