Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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