My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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