if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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