this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
