All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
