i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
