i wish my penis had a tongue
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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