the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Randomize
