Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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