I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
