Who wears a wallet chain?!
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
