I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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