Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
