So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
