I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
