he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
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