Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
