why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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