Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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