just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
