the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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