drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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