I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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