stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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