And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
