yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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