I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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