Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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