this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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