It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
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I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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