i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You are the jesus of drinking
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize