Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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