Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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