I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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