Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
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we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
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I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize