How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
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