her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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