She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
so let's talk penis.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
