I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
