Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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