You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
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