hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
