thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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